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Munafo Core Values: MCV07 — Be Unconditional    


Be Unconditional

Unconditional: This word refers specifically to love, trust, acceptance and respect. (As in "love unconditionally", "trust unconditionally", etc. also: commit, give, ask, expect.) It serves as a reminder that none of these things truly exists if it can be withdrawn or withheld in response to the actions of another person. For example, your love of yourself is conditional if it changes in response to how well or poorly someone else treats you. Your love for someone else is conditional if it changes in response to whether their behavior meets your desires or expectations.

Be: This core value is all about what you are being — not about what you are doing. In other words, respect acceptance love and trust are all things that happen inside your attitudes and emotions, but not thoughts, words or actions. Thinking, saying and doing good things — doing love — are useful habits, but will not accomplish much until they are backed up by being love — and likewise for acceptance, trust and respect.

Consequently, this core value is one that is more difficult to acquire through deliberate intent — because it is about being, one cannot simply practice doing it until the doing becomes habit. However, it IS possible to acquire beingness through deliberate intent — the way is to develop a discipline of self-awareness. As often as possible, be aware of what you are being. For example, if your goal is to be loving, then begin to notice those times when you are not loving. Every time you notice yourself not being as you wish — you take a step forward. If you wish, you can even keep a daily count of the number of times you notice yourself being something you do not wish. Over time, you find simply by noticing it, you become aware of what is causing you to have, or to not have, the attribute you desire. Then there is a cause, which you can begin to be aware of. You will eventually find that you are able to be the desired way, more often.

How You are Being, When You are Being Unconditional

Being unconditional, is having unconditional respect, acceptance, love and trust in yourself. Feeling this way about yourself gives you confidence and resolve, and makes you inspirational to everyone around you.

Being unconditional, is having a complete unconditional respect for, acceptance of, love for and trust in others, before expecting results in relationships with them. They cannot be open to you any more than you are open to them. (Faithful religious readers may notice a similarity here to some teachings of their faith's founder or leader.)

(Many cultures of mature masculinity would consider all aspects of unconditional listed above to be a part of the masculine archetypes and thus part of my MCV01. Different individuals will have different qualities in their "MCV01", meaning that the unconditional aspect might be partly or completely absent. Be Unconditional is placed here, in the middle group of 5 in my core values list, to resolve such ambiguity and to highlight its importance in the work of relationships.)

MCV07 for Teams

When this core value is present:

The team respects, accepts, trusts and loves the other teams and team members. (+mcv07a)

The team respects, accepts, trusts and loves itself and its members. (+mcv07b)

When this core value is lacking:

Team has conditional "respect", conditional "acceptance", conditional "trust", or conditional "love" of another team or team member. (-mcv07a)

Team has conditional "respect", conditional "acceptance", conditional "trust", or conditional "love" of itself or one of its members. (-mcv07b)

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