Schadenfreude and the Four Quadrant Model
In the following discussion we refer to four situations, as shown in this table: for example, if "I feel good" and "they feel bad" the situation is schadenfreude.
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The Four Quadrants
Compersion is variously described, often with specific or narrow contexts of usage. Here we just mean "feeling happy for someone else".
Schadenfreude is a feeling of happiness coming from awareness of another person being unhappy in some way.
Jealousy is a negative feeling (possibly sorrow or anger, etc.) associated with from awareness of another person being happy and/or fortunate in some way.
Other combinations of negative and positive feelings exist without being considered "jealousy". For example in a relationship someone might have a negative feeling such as mild anger, "triggered" by something another person does, which itself is enjoyable for that other person. This phenomenon goes in the same quadrant as jealousy.
Empathy is variously described, often with specific or narrow contexts of usage. Often it only means "feeling sad for someone else", and is used only for sorrow or grief. Here we generalise "empathy" to include feeling someone else's fear, anger, shame, guilt, etc.; and we can also refer to mutual happiness as "empathy" if my happiness is caused by theirs (or vice versa).
The Two Axes
The Axis of Affinity
As a relationship quality, affinity can be seen as the condition in which emotions are shared. This occurs through communication of some kind (perhaps non-verbal: expression, gesture; also tone of voice, or even by knowledge gained indirectly as when bad news is told by a mutual friend) leading to a sharing of the same emotion. This can apply to any of the amotions that actors can do, both good and bad.
In the four quadrants above, the "axis of affinity" consists of the two that are both the same "feel", i.e. compersion and empathy.
The Axis of Co-Dependency
The "axis of co-dependency" consists of the other two quadrants, in which the emotions differ. An example of co-dependency is the cycle of want and loss, illustrated by this cycle in the classic on-again off-again relationship:
1. "I want this to last"
2. "I need this to last"
3. the breaking point / split up
4. "I want to stay separate"
5. "I don't need companionship"
6. reconcile / reunite
(go back to step 1)
Most of the steps in the cycle involve the two people having feelings that differ from each other, from differing mood caused by the current state of being together or separate (one is happy, the other unhappy) or differing overall states (e.g. confidence: one feels secure, the other anxious). Instances of aversion from differing mood (e.g. jealousy, triggering, schadenfreude,) are common. The time to go through a full cycle might be a few months, or a year, or longer.
This page was written in the "embarrassingly readable" markup language RHTF, and was last updated on 2025 Aug 06.
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