The Pearls of Wisdom, MDI G&E Team, mid-2008
(Note: "lyons-pearls" in the filename references Lyons because he is/was leading the team at the time the list started. These tenets actually came from the whole team.)
My Men in New York
We started the conspiracy of using this phrase twice a day when we refer to men in other Regions or Divisions, we use the phrase "My Men". This causes those around us to notice this phrase and consider the fact that the Men in New York (or LA or San Francisco) are, in fact, their men. There is a power in this statement that can only be experienced by saying it out-loud to other men. Twice a day is all we ask.
Who are your guys?
Ignoring for a moment any cultural objections to the term "guys", these are the men who are "with you". Another way to ask the question is; "Who are the men that you would call if you had to rob a bank?" These men are invested in your success. They may not be "officially" on your team, but they have sent you a signal that they will answer the call if you are up to something big and need their help. You should be constantly listening for this signal and acknowledging these men as "your guys" (or what ever term your region allows you to use). This resource is often the first place you should go to produce wins for your men while constantly bringing-in new men to expand this circle. ((If != Guys | == Who is on Your Crew?)) (Munafo prefers "Who is on your A-Team?", referencing the TV show, if you've seen the show you'll get it.)
Who is on your team and who is ON-ON your team?
There are many levels of participation; some men take-on jobs in the Men's Division, like Division Enrollment Manager, out of obligation or because it's their turn. Some men are up for the game thirsty for what you can give them ready to be trained or aid in the training of others. These men know the value of being on a Team that is collectively "up to something big", a Team that will demand their greatness. And they will let you know (if you are listening for it) that they are not just on your team, they are ON-ON your team. It is important to know who these men are and lead them accordingly. Get every man on your team to be ON-ON your team by continually giving him a place to bring his greatness and demanding his best.
What Is This Man Hungry For?
This is essential to getting men ON-ON your team. The men who you would want to have on your team will not jump at the chance to do exactly what you have in mind because (usually) what you have in mind is what you are hungry for.
Before you can approach each other as men who would be on each others' A-teams, you should be asking yourself What is this man hungry for?. If you don't know, find out. Once you do know, feed it to him give the man the opportunity to do, have, or get, what he is hungry for.
All men have strengths, passions, various goals, and a purpose or mission, and these are all very personal and will differ from one man to another. These have all contributed to that man being in MDI to start with. Giving men what they are hungry for fulfills all of these things.
Huntin' Squirrel or Huntin' Bear?
Squirrel hunters hunt alone, they hunt when the want to, they set the bar for what is declared a "win" wherever they want. Bear hunters know they must hunt in packs (create teams with trusting relationships), they prepare and leave in the dark, before dawn (make sacrifices/do what they need to do), and there is only one definition of a win: "We kill the bear bring it home and everyone is still alive" (they have a declared, measurable result). Are the men that you are leading Hunting Bear or Hunting Squirrel? Mentor the Squirrel Hunters to join the pack of Bear Hunters and reap the benefits. We Hunt Bear in the Men's Division.
Being an Officer in the Men's Division
Just as the officers at a local military base are responsible for the goings on at that particular base, they also own their part of being responsible for something bigger. We are Officers in the Global Men's Division. This means that we are responsible for Everything that happens anywhere or at any time in the Men's DivisionI. We bring the Global Men's Division to the local men. We represent all of the leaders in MDI, all of the intention of the Men's Division and all of the Men and other resources in the Men's Division to the men which we lead directly. There is an esprit de corps (morale) and a code of conduct that are associated with Officers whether they are on-duty or off.
Were/Are you In Uniform?
The corollary to Being an Officer in the Men's Division is to examine how you are being with the men that you lead and asking yourself if you were/are in uniform or not. If you are not getting the results from the men you lead, such as: reports, phone calls, or other commitments, ask you self this question: "Was I in uniform when I made these requests or secured these commitments?" These men may not want to come through for you as their leader, but they will not want to let down the Men's Division. Being in Uniform connects those you lead with their responsibility to The Global Men's Division, our Cause, our Purpose and our Intentions for the world.
Put yourself on THEIR Team
In concert with making men "your guys" is the ability to create larger circles by not demanding that those men conform to your program. In NY there lives The Christian Men's Division. They are never going to join MDI and may not agree to be on the Regional G&E Call. But the NY G&E Team Leader can put himself on THEIR Team. If men are up to the same thing that we are, why would we not want to be a part of and contribute to that? Often the "structure" is the reason why these men are no longer with us. We are big enough and humble enough to bridge that chasm and include others purposes inside of our own.
What your RC needs to count on you for
The scope of a Regional Coordinator's ability to get things done is often limited to his direct Core Team. It is your responsibility to figure out how to help your RC accomplish what it is that he wants to accomplish. In the case of your program, he may not know exactly what to ask for or even what he needs to count on you for. It is your responsibility to figure this out and bring it to your RC and the Regional Core Team. This should be the essence of your relationship with you RC a confidant that helps him forward and execute his agenda.
Men come here to be Different
We are different in the Men's Division. We place a higher value on certain principles than most of the rest of society does. And we stand for creating a place for men to do what we do and have what we have. And we take action in the name of that stand and our higher purpose. Men come here to be different in that way. Do not fail to demand more from the men that you lead in the name of this difference because that is why they are here. If they don't get that here, they will find someplace else. We attract men because we are different. Demand that every man around you be different in the best way that we are. We make the difference and the difference makes US.
Leaders tell us who we are
This is at the heart of Re-creating those we lead as Powerful, Committed Owners. If a man tells you who you are at your best in your greatness, AND that man is right (he accurately describes you because he knows you well) you will regard him as a leader, whether his is or not. If a man does the same and he does not accurately describe you (doesn't know you) he will not be regarded as a leader (whether he is or not). Great Leaders tell the men they are leading who they are at their best. They let those men know that "this is who I trust you to be" constantly recreating them as powerful leaders. This requires that we intimately know TMHHAWTB for every man we lead.
Old Guys Ask for Help
Vaniskhian is a man in New York, who was considering himself to be a "new guy" (or a "newbie"). He recently came to the realization that the "old guys" (or "veterans") had just as many things going on for them (battles, barriers, bullshit, you name it) as he did but unlike him, the old guys were getting help. That's the only difference between the old guys and the new guys: they're both fucked up the same, but the old guys ask for help. Be an old guy! Find your way of asking for help there are as many ways to ask for help as there are men and forget about being perfect.
Who is the most important man in the Men's Division?
That man is you (or the man who is being asked the question). The joke is: "Here is a hint: he's wearing your underwear". If you are the Most Important Man In The Men's Division, what are the implications? Surely you have to be at the next meeting because we can't have the meeting without the Most Important Man In The Men's Division. This concept has men see and own their participation in the Men's Division differently. Hopefully moving them from a "do me" status to one of taking responsibility for their part and being accountable for the whole result.
Every man deserves a Great Men's Team
The connection to, and belief of this simple immutable concept is at the essence of our collective purpose in the Men's Division. That guy who just cut you off in traffic, your a-Hole Boss, Every Man deserves a great Men's Team. What are you doing to be a part of the 2.5 billion member men's team every day? What are you doing to move us all towards the largest circle known to man.....The whole species. (Thanks RT)
The Contributed Dave Rudbarg
Dave was a Regional G&E Team Leader in NY. He had a vision for a huge Region-wide Enrollment event, but was getting no traction, until he allowed other men to contribute to him and help him create this great event. The rest is history, but the lesson the we learn is; Who we are when we give men a place to contribute to us is much larger and produces more of a win for more people, than we could possibly produce with just our own skill and talent. This gives us the courage to take-on and produce results that we could never attain alone and have everyone who contributes be part of the win. This is the essence of the Men's Division.
"Not only are we Event Centric We are 100% Event Centric in the Men's Division"
This distinction is the response to the declaration made by many that "we are no longer Event Centric in the Men's Division". While it is true that we no longer run the Men's Division completely in response to the SMW or LD, we cannot "throw the baby out with the bathwater". Everything we do in the Men's Division is an event. Any time two or more Men's Division men meet it's an event. Your Team Meeting is an event, Division Meeting, Open House, etc. If the men on your Men's Team regarded your weekly Team Meeting like an Event how would that change their Participation Context for that meeting? This new context is about bringing excellence to everything we do in the Men's Division. Declare Everything An Event and insist on Excellence.
We Need A Guy
In softball, they have 10 men on the team because there are 4 outfielders. If the game is tonight and suddenly for some reason you have only nine men on your softball team, you'll all get on the phone and find a guy. And then you ask a man, "We need a guy for our team", and he'll say two things: "Okay" ... then followed right away with "What are you playing?" There are no questions in his mind beyond "What do I need to wear cleats or bowling shoes?"
In MDI for the most part we have full, working teams. There is no sense of We need a guy on our teams because we're on big, fat teams (fat and happy!)
The only thing you need to ask your team about how they're handling enrollment is: Do you need a guy?!? as in, Are you holding it as your context that, you need a guy? Or are you holding it that, you're all set, you don't need anymore guys.
The Spirit of the Men's Divisions : The Spirit of the Men's Divisions lives in PERSONAL, REVEALING conversations about where men struggle and what men are passionate about.
The Embarrassingly Idealistic Reason : Every man who is connected with his purpose also has an "Embarrassingly Idealistic Reason" that he pursues his purpose. This "Embarrassingly Idealistic Reason" may not be able to be fully expressed anywhere else in his life, except to another man who has embraced and has surrendered to his own "Embarrassingly Idealistic Reason" for pursuing his own purpose. Be that man.
How many Greatness Conversations are you willing to have? : Everything that we accomplish and experience is; as a result of, or expressed through, conversations involving greatness (Enrollment Conversations). How big you are in the world is a direct result of how many of these "Greatness Conversations" you are willing to have. Do not confuse these conversations with Registration Conversations keep them separate. When the E-Conversation is complete Then take names and make commitments.
"Do the Math!" The Math is a simple product of 2 numbers, each subjectively gauged on a scale from 1 10. The first number is "The quantity and quality of your enrollment". This number is then multiplied by the second number which is; "The stand that you are for THAT MAN doing THIS WEEKEND on THIS DATE". The product of these 2 numbers must equal more that 50 (and 7x7=49). HERE IS THE SECRET: This tool is not about math at all, but rather about having the discussion with another man about the work that he has done, or is willing to do, in order to register another man. If the number is less than 50, tell the man "don't bother trying to register this man find another" and let the discussion evolve from there. If the number is more than 50, tell him "go do it he's going to register I just proved it to you!"
Take a Stand : Let the man know that you are a stand for him having everything in his life that you have both seen is available for him from doing an Initiation Event and joining us. Men can trust a Stand vs. a "Good Idea". A Stand can't be disappointed. You cannot debate against a Stand powerfully expressed, it is not an opinion. A Stand requires no approval or even acknowledgement, but instead creates action. It's like saying "one member of this team (of us two) is firmly committed to you doing This Weekend on This Date in This City". Then...
Draw the Line : You cannot make a decision for another man, but can make sure that his decision is based on something that is Personal, Passionate and Relevant to what he really wants to have in his life and who he really wants to be. Make certain that these are the qualities of what is available to him as a result of doing an Initiation Event and joining us. If he really experiences himself as the man with the qualities of the man he sees on the other side of the line he will step over. Your Job IS Not Done Until you Powerfully Ask him to Cross the Line. Getting a "no" does not change The Stand that you are for that man. It does not change anything it's just part of the process.
Being Considered for Addition
When I stand in the midst of a variety of challenges, I experience "things coming at me." As I continue to stand in that place, I experience anxiety as these challenges continue to confront me, and, by standing in that same place, I am not inclined to look at my challenges from a different point of view. As time passes, and I continue to be bombarded by the circumstances I am in, my anxiety turns to doubt that I can do anything and then my fears become very real and I literally become frozen by my own doubts and fears. Nothing on the outside has changed.
But when I face my challenges and step forward into action, especially around being solution oriented, asking for help, utilizing other resources and being in motion, I experience myself attacking those things and I continually see my circumstances as being temporary, not permanent, and that robs them of their power over me. I consider different points of view. I am in motion, I am in action and as I continue to be in action, I create momentum. With that momentum, I become more resilient and more certain that I can overcome these obstacles. This is the emergence of courage that is a result of creating momentum in response to the world, as it is.
We can not change many of the events that occur in the world, but we can respond in a powerful way to those events. Powerful responses to events create positive outcomes. Momentum creates courage which is what we need to rely on to respond powerfully.
Men seem to think that the way they do it, or (even more dangerous) the way their leader does it, is the "only way" that a man can/should/must do it. There Is More Than One Right Way encourages you, and the men you lead, to remember that the best strategy for your men to use is probably the strategy that actually works best with them. Encourage them to be themselves and if they insist on emulating someone, ask them to emulate their sponsor. (Munafo has written more on this here.)
Runnin' from a Gator, or Runnin' from a Catfish? (comments to Munafo)
The Gator is a challenge you have dealt with in the past unsuccessfully. Recall the common belief about Gators: they run fastest in a straight line, and to escape a gator the best strategy is to run on a zig-zag path1. In a man's life, "changing direction" means doing something differently. When in a situation where you've been unsuccessful in the past, use a new strategy! This probably means doing something non-intuitive, like running in a zig-zag path. Doing the same thing, and expecting different results, is insanity.
The Catfish represents a challenge that can be defeated merely by endurance. These pursuers will eventually dry out, and must then return to water. A catfish situation is one for which endurance (not quitting) will always succeed.
Are You Committed to the Worker or to the Results? (comments to Munafo)
Often, after accepting a man who has stepped up for your team, you discover that his strengths and passions are a poor match for the job's requirements and/or purpose. Mismatch may also occur when you are new to the job and your CPR or strategy differs greatly from that of the past.
In some cases it is more important to keep working with the man you have, knowing that he can achieve what he did not think possible reflecting the old "hold him to his commitment" approach. In other cases the success of your team, division, region, event, etc. is more important this is the "take him out of the job" approach. Varying styles of management exist these usually go hand in hand with the manager's syle of enrollment: aggressive/active, or diplomatic/passive. You should be aware of your own management style, because it biases your choice. Use other, committed but uninvolved, men to help you determine which choice is really better.
FAQ (Fucking Annoying Questions)
Q : "Oh it's about enrollment, it's going to be hard" : Men make enrollment "hard" (as opposed to "easy") by trying to imitate other men's enrollment styles. It's "hard" because you're trying to do it another man's way, rather than doing it the way that actually works for you. There Is More Than One Right Way!. see promotion.
1 : The "run zig-zag to escape an alligator/crocodile" idea is actually a myth. It was successfully debunked on Mythbusters (January 10, 2007: Grant concludes, "It's ridiculous, and what's more it's BUSTED."). The details: Florida ranchers and zoology websites confirm that the creatures' notorious speed is limited to distances of about one body length. They hunt by ambushing their prey. The fastest gait (the "gallop", a bunny-like gait) is used primarily for retreat, not for attack. They run on land only for repelling intruders from a nest, and they break off the chase quickly. In that distance, and at the gator's top sustained speed of 11 mph, they are easily outrun by any reasonably-fit human who sees the gator coming. See here.
This page was written in the "embarrassingly readable" markup language RHTF, and was last updated on 2018 Feb 04. s.11